In daily life, when people communicate to each other, they may either agree or disagree to the others' ideas/actions. Sometimes, there are situations in which they neither support or object. However, in this post, we won't touch that aspect. Generally, when people disagree with anyone, they may choose to keep silent or try to argue to convince that their own opinions are correct, the others shouldn't act/say like this or that, etc. If a compromise is not reached, a conflict most probably occurs. Let me tell you one of such situation which happened recently between me and my mom.
Around a week ago, I had a phone call back to my family in Vietnam. The main content of the call was my desire to switch my course from Chemical Science to Chemical Engineering. By the way, I am now a student in Drug - Applied Chemistry. Initially, everything seemed not a big trouble as I told my parents that I were then considering whether I should do so but most likely, I would do it.
2 days ago, I made a call again and this time, there was a big argument. My mom insisted that I had to pursue this course and did not allow me to change my major. She told me that the decision to go to Applied Chemistry belonged to me after I failed to get admitted to Pharmacy. Therefore, I shouldn't have any change at this point of time. She personally preferred me to complete this course as she wanted me to go for higher education in Pharmacy or Medicinal Chemistry. One more important issue is the financial one. Currently, I'm holding ASEAN Scholarship. The change in major may result in the reconsideration of the scholarship and loss of it. Given that situation, there will be a financial burden on my family.
In my point of view, changing major isn't a terrible thing but a good choice. Switching to Chemical Engineering, I have chance to be more exposed to real industry. I could choose any among Oil and Gas, Pharmaceutical, Chemical Process, or R&D. After graduating, I could go to work immediately or think of applying for Master or PhD while going for Master and PhD is the only choice for Science graduates if I really want to receive high salary.
We really had a big argument. I told mom that I would do it regardless mom and dad agreed or not as it would affect my life. I now should have my own opinion and my choice for my life. Mom, in the contrast, remained her viewpoint and did not allow me to do so. Well, it was terrible, indeed.
Nevertheless, I decide not to switch my major any more as I won't get enough financial aid from Tuition Grant which will offer only 2 more years if I successfully change the course. But the conflict isn't completely resolved. Perhaps it'll take a long time for the conflict to be solved. Anyway, I just think that the way I expressed my idea wasn't so appropriate. Maybe I need to have another way of approach next time when I have something I think that parents won't accept it at first sight. Well, what do you think I should and shouldn't do ?
Dear Kelvin,
ReplyDeleteI've had similar issues with my parents, tho I was not sure what I wanted in my life, so I followed my parents' desires.
However now that I have a clearer picture of what is required of me, I tell them how I feel. For your case, i do think that financial issues are rather important, and you probably should listen to your parents.
There are many other ways of venturing into what you wish to do in the future, but for the current moment it's best to have your parents' and family's interest at heart.
Nicholas Chai
Hi Kelvin,
ReplyDeleteI agree with nicholas, financial matters are important in this current moment, especially if it adds to the financial burden of your family.
Applied chemistry course is quite similar to chemical engineering actually. If you are able to achieve good academic results or show your competency during internship, you can actually be headhunted even before you graduate. Applied chemistry course could actually find jobs related to chemical engineering field if you search carefully.
As for the conflict, I believe it can be resolved in due time when your parents realised your decision made. Express your apologies in terms of letter writing/ email if speaking to them seems a little awkward. But don't worry, there are no grudges between a child and parents forever.