Vo Huynh Phu Khanh, Kelvin
Block 30, #B-C, 27 Prince George’s Park Residences
Singapore, S118425
___________________________________________________________________________________January 31st, 2011
The Learning Lab
Mountbatten Square, United Square #03-03
101 Thomson Road
Singapore 307591
Dear Recruiting Manager,
I am writing to respond to your job advertisement on NUS e-job center. I am now a second year Applied Chemistry student specializing in Medicinal Chemistry. Working in lab is one of my favorite things, especially working in lab to teach children and enhance their interest towards science really makes me excited and inspired. Therefore, I am writing to apply for a full-time position as a client ambassador in The Learning Lab.
During my first two years in NUS, I have attempted to gather theoretical knowledge as well as practical skills through all the chemistry and pharmacy modules. I have really enjoyed all the benefits together with challenges during the courses. Despite the first obstacles in communication and different academic levels, I endeavored to overcome and build a rigid background for myself in theoretical organic synthesis, drug discovery and analytical chemistry as well as get familiar with basic laboratory skills such as: TLC, column chromatography, gas chromatography, doing extraction and separation, and conducting different chemical reactions. In addition to that, I have learnt how to work in deadline-oriented environment and get well-prepared in order to be able to solve the sudden problems originated during lecture, tutorial or laboratory session.
Besides studying at university, I have also taken part in some Co-Curricular Activities during my first two years. I’m now holding the position as Vice Director for VietnamJUMP – a community service project aiming at improving the poor’s lives in underprivileged areas in Vietnam. We try to raise fund and seek for sponsorship to help build a kindergarten room in Vietnam and teach children about health, safety awareness. Concurrently, I am a volunteer for World Model of United Nations – WorldMUN, a conference with 2000 delegates from 270 universities in more than 65 countries. Working in such projects really improved my team-working skills and experience. In addition, I learnt how to negotiate to solve conflicts and maintain the good relationship among team members. My ability of strategic planning and working under pressure was enhanced as well.
This is the first time I apply for a full-time position, though, with my enthusiasm, high commitment and what I obtained during the first two years, I believe that I will overcome the difficulties I might face. Therefore, this job would be a great chance for me to experience and explore about my major. I will finish my final exam in May, 2011 and can commit to the job from June onwards.
I have enclosed a copy of my curriculum vitae for your review. I very much look forward to the opportunity for further discussion on the position with you and I would be glad to come for an interview any time at your convenience. Should you need any more information, I can be reached at (+65) 8765 4321 or kelvin@es2007s.nus.edu.sg.
I am very grateful for your precious time and greatly appreciate your consideration.
Yours faithfully,
Vo Huynh Phu Khanh, Kelvin
Hi Kelvin!
ReplyDeleteGreat letter with full of your relevant experience!
I think it would be a good match with your skill. If you have some customer service experience, you had better show it as the job's position is client ambassador.
Some small typo in the first paragraph:
"I am writing in respond to your job advertisement ..."
Hi Kelvin, please upload your job adv so your classmates can better comment on your application letter.
ReplyDeleteHi Kelvin,
ReplyDeleteKudos for selecting teaching as a career. I think it is going to be a fulfilling experience which I honestly believed you have full enthusiasm for.
However, the cover letter certainly needs some adjustment such as the structure of the address and the paragraphing. There are also some awkward sentences which definitely require your attention such as 'Working in lab is one of my favorite things, especially working in lab to teach children...'.
Finally, you don't have to mention that this is your first time applying as you will make yourself look like a novice. Looking forward to your improved version!
Hi Kelvin!:)
ReplyDeleteI see that you have been actively involved in your CCA besides your studies and I can sense enthusiasm about your dream job!
However, there are a few points that I think which can be improved to make your application letter even better :)
1. The spacing between the paragraphs.
(e.g herefore, I am writing to apply for a full-time position as a client ambassador in The Learning Lab.
During my first two years in NUS, I have attempted to gather theoretical knowledge as well as practical skills through all the chemistry and pharmacy modules.)
2. Include a Subject heading below Dear Sir, to indicate which position you are looking for.
3. We successfully RAISED fund and liased with our sponsors(if you managed to find) to build.....
We try to raise fund and seek for sponsorship to help build a kindergarten room in Vietnam and teach children about health, safety awareness.
4. Lastly, yup! I think that you need not include that this is your first time applying as it may make yourself look inexperienced.
Great effort! On a side note, I love to do volunteer work too! hope we will have chance to go for some volunteering events together! Look forward to reading more from you. Thank you :)
Hi, Kelvin
ReplyDeleteIt’s so great that you are interested in guiding our next young generations into the world of science(chemistry). Teacher is a fantasitc job! And I also could feel your passion and ethuasim for the job through the letter, which is extremely important to persuade the employer to put you into their short list.
You mentioned your various academic laboratory skills like: TLC, column chromatography,etc. Of course, it shows off your strong academic background. However, in my opinion, these skills are a bit irrelevant to the job you’re applying for. Besides, the requirement of deadline management and settling sudden problems may not be that urgent. In a word, don’t over-emphsize those irrelevant points and I think more words could be spent towards inter-personal communication skills which I think it’s more important for this job.
Thank you for very useful comment. I'll try to fix them :D
ReplyDelete@Dan: Yeah, I saw it, thank you for picking it out :D
@Fahmi: yeah, I'll definitely correct the awkward sentence. Thanks a lot :D
@Hui Ting: Thank you very much for looking through my cover letter and pick out such errors. However, I need to mention several points that you just noticed me:
- I just think that the tittle isn't compulsory so we don't definitely need to put in if we don't have enough space in our cover letter. In contrast, if we still have space, putting a tittle isn't a problem :D
- I use "try to raise fund" as it's now in process and hasn't been finished =P.
@Fahmi and Hui Ting: well, I think that putting "this is the first time..." show my sincerity as I don't deny that I've never worked before. Well, I may have internship or anything else (will have IA in the next six months btw) but I never experience full time job before, so I just think that it's not a problem in the cover letter.
@Chen Chen: thank you for pointing out those errors. I will try to fix all of them =D
@Ms Lim: thank you for reminding me. I've already posted job ad to my blog :D
Dear Kelvin,
ReplyDeleteSorry for the late input. The first impression I have garnered from your cover letter would be your address. Perhaps the line above was not intended? Because it has eaten into the space of the date.
"Despite the first obstacles in communication and different academic levels, I endeavored to overcome and build a rigid background for myself in theoretical organic synthesis, drug discovery and analytical ...".
I felt that you need not explain your obstacles in the cover letter and should just come straight to the point that you have a rigid background in the related chemistry fields, as extra details like this lengthens your cover letter too much and makes it hard to find facts.
You have good CCA track records, which I think would certainly help in the application =)